“Not a typical Sunday?!” Dean stood, moving slightly in front of you and glaring at the angel that he called his best friend. Sam sat beside you, but he couldn’t hide how tense he was, ready to react if anything happened between his brother and friend.
“I do not know what else to say, Dean. I made a mistake, not one that can be fixed. Which means that now we must figure out how to deal with what happened. I must inform Y/N of what will happen to her now that she is my soul mate.” You knew stress when you heard it, Castiel trying not to freak out as every word passed his lips. He knew what was going on and he was scared, but more than that, you could feel his fear and worry as if it was your own.
Only able to tell the two apart thanks to the fact that his feelings were slightly fainter. This must be what normal soulmates feel all the time the feelings and emotions of those they had bonded to.
“Sam said you’re my last ever soulmate, what does that mean?” You spoke, hoping that clear questions would make things easier, on all of you. There would be very little information out there for Sam to find, he’d already combed through everything in the men of letters bunker, and you had no idea where else would have collected records on angels.
“There are two options, one is you die and your soul goes to heaven. The other is you simply don’t die. Either way your soul, and you, are destined to become heavens first new angel since father left. Your body and soul will start a slow transformation, my grace will also be yours, helping you grow your own. Eventually you’ll gain wings and powers, become a full angel. The process can take centuries, the elders say that it depends on you and I.”
“I’m sorry? Simply don’t die?! What does that mean?” Your hand fisting in the back of Dean’s shirt stopped him from taking a step forward as his anger and confusion grew.
“Y/N will not die of human disease or old age, but she is still weak to everything else. Should she be killed on earth, she shall reside in heaven, your heaven, until the transition is partially complete, her wings full grown then she can travel between heaven, hell and earth as easily as all the other angels can.” Castiel bowed his head, refusing to look at anyone as he stared at the ugly brown carpet beneath his feet. “It is one of the many reasons I should have asked, Y/N should have had the right to choose if she wanted this or not.” He lifted his head, baby blue eyes locking on yours.
“I am so very sorry.” You reached for Sam as every emotion coursing through the angel's frame hit you all at once. The overwhelming and guilt and sorrow that he had caused this, started this process without first asking, tangled with choking fear, but what seemed most surprising was the underlying glimmer of hope.
“Hey, Princess breathe.” You gasped for air, Dean’s soft words cutting through the fog. “It was overwhelming for me as well, at first, you’ll get used to it.” You opened your eyes, looking at Dean knelt before you, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as they clenched around his hand. He smiled as you caught your breath, watching him rather than the concerned angel in the background.
“Cas I think you should wait outside for a bit,” Sam spoke, his hand resting over yours.
“Of course.” Castiel grabbed his shirt and left without argument, the door closing quietly behind him. He understood everything.
“Do you want us to get rid of him? Give you time to come to terms with everything?” Sam moved slightly to look directly at you. You shook your head, something about sending your soulmate away just seemed wrong, especially while you still had so many questions.
“Sam go get another room, take Cas there, find out everything you can. I’ll talk Y/N through the basics. Things she should get a handle on before she and Cas talk again.” Dean naturally took control, looking to his brother. Sam held his gaze for a moment before agreeing.
“I’ll make sure we’re right next door if you need me.” Sam squeezed your hand, before grabbing a jacket and following after Castiel.
“Things I should get a handle on? What aren’t you telling me Dean?” You pulled your hand out of his to run it through your hair, taking a deep breath. This was all too much, you’d long since resigned yourself to not having a soulmate to call your own, having him appear at the Winchesters call?
“We never thought you’d have a soulmate, even you didn’t, so no one would have warned you about what would happen if you met someone.” He moved to sit beside you, still speaking softly, as if you would startle at any moment.
“So what am I missing Dean? What did no one think I deserved to know-”
“It’s not like that.” He interrupted you,
“It sounds like it!” You stood, barely taking a few steps before Dean’s hand had closed around your wrist, tugging you back down to sit on the bed,
“We wanted what was best for you Princess, and the last thing we wanted was to hurt you by giving you information that would only make the pain worse. Sam and I already know how you struggled with the weight of not having a soul mate.” His thumb brushed past the mark on your wrist, helping you ground yourself as your mind whirled out of control.
"So what, you just decided not to tell me?" You spoke once you finally felt like you had a grasp on the thoughts running through your mind.
"We thought we were doing the right thing. You have to understand that Princess." You took a deep breath, nodding as you looked towards the man you considered your brother.
"So what do I need to know?" You needed all the facts if you were to ever make sense of this.
"Okay, you know how Sammy and I can communicate with glances? That's because everything you feel, he feels aswell, and vice versa. Once you've known each other a while, you will learn to understand what he is thinking, what runs through his head, but that comes with time. The biggest thing we need to focus on is learning how to figure out what you feel as opposed to what he feels. It's easier for people like us, who knew what it was like before soulmates because you already know how you think, and how you would react to situations." Dean spoke softly, his words gentle as they fell from his lips, giving you time to understand them before you kept speaking.
"Is that what happened before?" The rest of your question was left unsaid, but he knew what you meant.
"Yes, your brain was confused at how to understand both your own emotions and Cas'. Sam's lucky that way, he's always had both his own and my emotions, he learnt to balance it out at a really young age." You wanted to ask if it would happen again, but you could tell just by the look on Dean’s face that it would. He was only four when he met his soulmate, his baby brother, you could only imagine how much harder it would’ve been for him.
"So how do I learn?" You asked instead thinking that if you knew how to control it you could stop what happened before happening again.
"It takes time, and that's all, it'll come and go at first, as you get used to the soul bond. There will be waves of emotion that flood you and make you feel like you're drowning within your own mind, and there will be moments where you have no idea how Cas is feeling." Dean reached for your hands, holding them tightly within his own. "but Sam and I are here for you, we will get rid of Cas if it all gets too much, give you time to calm back down and let your mind sort itself out." You squeezed his hands back, dropping your head to rest on his shoulder.
"Will I ever get used to it?" The words were barely more than a whisper.
"Of course you will, it'll take time, but you will, and all of it will feel like second nature." He took his hand from yours to wrap in over your shoulders, holding you close to him.
"How long?"
"It's different for everyone. I really can't say." His hand ran through your hair, trying to give you comfort.
"I don't know if I want this Dean-" Tears welled up in your eyes, and he slipped your head from his shoulder into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around you. You were meant to be alone, without a soulmate... it was what you had been told your whole life.
“Hey if you don’t want this we’ll find a way to get you out of it okay? Just say the word and Sammy can start the research.” You knew he meant every word, it was what the brothers did, forever getting those they cared about out of impossible situations.
“I just-” You pulled away from Dean, standing and starting to pace back and forth along the small space the motel afforded you. Mind racing as you tried to figure out exactly what you wanted, make sense of everything that had happened since that witch bullet shot you.
You stopped mid step as you turned once more only to see Castiel in front of you, his unfaltering blue gaze locked on you.
Your first reaction was to glance to Dean, he would be the first to react, but his eyes were also focused on you. Not even appearing to notice Castiel standing in the same room.
“You can see me.” It wasn’t a question, Castiel taking a small step closer to you as he realised you eyes were trained just as closely on him. Your angelic soulmate. “Would you like to leave somewhere? I will answer all your questions, anything you ask of me.” He reached out a hand towards you, giving you the option of accepting or not.
“Princess? You alright?” Dean stood, taking a step closer to you, wondering what had stopped you midstep. You looked between him and Castiel, forced to make a decision quickly, to go with your soulmate and get answers to the questions swirling in your mind, or stay with Dean, somewhere familiar, safe, and sort through everything; work through it all with the brothers at your side.
Your body reacted before you could be fully conscious of your decision, hand resting in the larger angel’s one, a gentle tug on your hand as the motel disappeared from around you.
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